Let’s face it, saying that life has its ups and downs is putting it mildly. A more accurate descriptor would be that there are cycles of advancement and regression, reworking and awakening, unpleasantness and pleasure, even chaos and calm — with many other experiences in-between — that may make it difficult, at times, to show ourselves some kindness and understanding.
Self-love is not centred around feeling good or thinking positively, although both of these are welcome side effects, it’s about creating moments of action that reclaim and prioritize compassion for ourselves. It’s about doing things that help us maintain our mental and emotional well-being. Self-love is investing in ourselves. It’s weaving resiliency into our lives so that when we hit a low or feel like we’re going to come apart at the seams, we remember that we have value, we are worthy, we are loved, and we will get through whatever challenges we currently face.

Treating ourselves with compassion establishes space for growth, in all areas of our lives, that allow us to build healthier intentions and outcomes. If we have established self-love as a natural part of our everyday lives, we’re more likely to seek out non-toxic relationships (romantic, familial, or even work-based) and lead a lifestyle that promotes looking after our physical health. Other benefits could include experiencing less anxiety and depression and even being able to recover better from situations of stress.
Do not ignore your intuition. There is an infinite intelligence within you; let it be your guiding light. | Heart Talk: Poetic Wisdom For A Better Life – Cleo Wade
Self-love is not selfish, so don’t believe the voices that may tell you so. Having deep-rooted compassion, and the strength, stability, kindness and encouragement that it produces for us personally, is something we can gift to others. There is no way to love and care for other people if there is no love for ourselves.

Choose how best to care for yourself, find what works for you, and set aside time to do it. Favour the food that nourishes your physical well-being, reward yourself with walking amongst nature, respect your boundaries, establish a sleep routine, practice positive self-talk, take moments to sit in comfort and read, spend time with people that enrich your soul — do whatever actions help you reclaim acceptance and love for yourself.
Ultimately, the act of self-love is giving permission to nurture and celebrate who we are and create space for accepting into our lives the people and situations that do the same. We provide ourselves with the mental, emotional and spiritual means to uplift us during the good times and carry us through during the bad.
How do you show yourself love?
Further Reading:
50 Tangible Ways to Practice Self-Love – HuffPost
This Holiday Self-Care Package Is By LGBTQ People, For LGBTQ People – Bustle
Self-Love In The Time Of Coronavirus – ColorLines
Self Care, Self Love – Native Wellness
If you enjoy reading Transatlantic Notes and would like to show your support for the work being done, please consider making a small donation. Thank you.
I really like this as I think it reminds me why I need to do it.
LikeLike
I’m glad it has been useful to you — thanks for commenting!
LikeLike
Absolutely agree with you! self-love and self-care is NOT selfish. Really enjoyed reading this! x
Much love always,
GABBY | http://www.gabbyabigaill.com
LikeLike
100%!! Thank you for stopping by!
LikeLike
The biggest way I show myself love is by nourishing my body with good foods. This, for me, is a keystone habit to other acts of self-love x
Roni | myelevatedexistence.com
LikeLike
I agree with you — we cannot begin to care for our needs if we don’t fuel ourselves with food that nourishes us well. Thanks for reading!
LikeLike
I show myself love the most by giving myself space at solitude at the end of the day. It’s what my body really craves.
LikeLike
That is a really useful idea and great way to show self-love!
LikeLike
I love all the focus you have toward positive growth and watching for your well being. We all need nudges to care for ourselves
LikeLike
Agreed — I think people often forget or prioritize other things because life can get so hectic (myself included) and need a reminder to take time to self-love/care. Thanks so much for reading!
LikeLike
I practice self-love by positive self talk. For example when I do activities I know I’m not very good at like DIY I used to run myself down if I didn’t do a good job.
Now when I fail I say ‘least you tried, you’ll do better next time’
LikeLike
I think that is so important — I am also someone who can be overly critical and negative when I self-talk so it’s good to practice the positive. Thanks for commenting!
LikeLike
Great post!! Well written and meaningful. Thank you!
LikeLike
Thanks so much for reading!
LikeLike
Love this post! I definitely agree that self-love is not selfish and it will never be! Thank you so much for sharing. x
LikeLike
Exactly! It’s so easy to fall into thinking of self-love as selfish but that is not the case, at all. Thanks for commenting!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely post!
I have been trying to practice self love a lot lot more! Even to just letting myself have a little alone time to read my book.
LikeLike
It can be hard to do it sometimes as life can get hectic and hard, but it’s so worth reminding ourselves to find a way to do it. Thanks for commenting!
LikeLike
I love that you point out the connection of seeking relationships that are non toxic. When we love ourselves it’s easier to accept the love of others and expect respect. Great post!
LikeLike
Yes, it’s so important to be able to accept healthy, nurturing love from others and spot the toxicity of some when we come across it. Thank you so much for reading!
LikeLike
Great post! Self-love is so important. It is something I have been trying to prioritize in my own life. Thanks so much for reminding me of why I need to spend time taking care of me!
LikeLike
It can be difficult sometimes to remember that self-love is votal to our own mental health and overall happiness — thank you so much for reading!
LikeLike