It’s frequently said that nothing is certain in life except death and taxes, but that’s not entirely accurate. There are many events and experiences that seem to be universally encountered; including a number of hard truths that we all need to come to terms with.
We’re all aware that life comes with ups and downs; it’s probably safe to say that common struggles and unpleasant realities are not something we need reminding of; we live through them and can acknowledge how they connect to our collective human experience. However, even though there’s a familiarity about them; hard truths about life are often overlooked or not faced until we’re in the middle of trying to make sense of their impact.
It’s reasonable to relegate thinking about potential discomfort and distress to a far-off corner of our subconscious. We get it; shit happens. Why spend time going over something that reminds us of the difficulties and negativity we’re likely to come up against? But I think we all know that ignoring something doesn’t make it go away. Preparation embraces the possibility of reducing the stress and/or disruption that life’s hard truths lay at our feet. If something can alleviate distress, struggle and pain, it’s worth exploring. Hard truths and the situations they create and/or exist in will not magically disappear when we do the inner work needed to support our mental, emotional and spiritual well-being; but it may strengthen our recovery.
Here’s some hard truths about life and how to deal with them:
Every Now And Then, Life Sucks | That may not sound like the most eloquent way of phrasing it, but it’s inevitable that we’ll periodically experience temporary setbacks, struggles and burdens. Feeling frustrated, dejected or strained during these times is natural; we’ve just got to make sure we don’t stay labouring under the weight of negative emotions. By prioritizing things like regular self-care activities, using mood boosting morning affirmations, seeking out supportive people and/or focusing on what is going well (make a list); we can remain motivated when life becomes a bit lousy.
Bad Things Are Going To Happen | It doesn’t matter who we are or how much good we put out into the universe; we’re all going to encounter situations, events and/or people that bring trauma and pain into our lives. It’s unavoidable … but it’s also survivable. Self-care is critical at these moments alongside leaning on loved ones for support and seeking out specialised assistance (there are some helplines included at the end of this article). We must also hold on to the fact that many more good times are on the way; things do get better.
Not Everyone Is Going To Like You | There may be a myriad of reasons as to why this happens; we could be causing the issue; those who dislike us may be the problem, or it could be any number of other explanations. Regardless of what rationale is behind it; it’s okay that we’re not everyone’s favourite person. Making amends might represent appropriate action to initiate, but depending on the person/situation, it’s equally justifiable not to work towards that.
You’re Not Always A Good Person | Most people are kind, considerate, decent and loving individuals; we’re definitely reflected in this truth. But nobody is purely altruistic 100 percent of the time. To accurately see ourselves, we have to acknowledge all of our nuanced traits; both good and bad. Wanting to do better requires us to know better; therefore unravelling what motivates and provides meaning to our lives will encourage recognition of what’s driving our choices and behaviours — particularly towards others.
Spending time identifying our contradictions and hypocrisies will make us aware of when/how/why — and against who — we use our more negative attributes. We can be encouraging yet judgemental, positive yet pessimistic or inclusive yet biased, for example. Don’t be afraid to get uncomfortable; we can’t fix what we can’t see.
No motive is pure. No one is good or bad — but a hearty mix of both. And sometimes life actually gives to you by taking away. | Carrie Fisher
Intention Does Not Outweigh Impact | We may not mean to cause someone distress or harm; that can typically be understood by most people, but if our words or actions become impactful in a negative way, we cannot isolate intention from consequence. Taking responsibility can involve acknowledging our motivations but we have to focus on how perceptions and outcomes are not experienced in the same way. Defending our intentions doesn’t hold space for growth or healing; it’s on us to listen, learn and do better in the future.
Life Doesn’t Begin After Achieving Specific Milestones | Working towards successes and meeting goals can represent an essential way to provide our lives with meaning and joy; but being able to experience and create moments of happiness doesn’t depend on reaching certain achievements. We embody value and purpose right now; our existence is happening right now. We shouldn’t put off living or get stuck with a belief that life will only improve or be worth something after we’ve completed x, y, z. An abundant life isn’t something we can wedge between progress and accomplishment; it’s a constant throughout all our experiences — we may as well embrace every part of it.
We’re All Racist | How that manifests and to what degree will be different for everyone; racism isn’t always about raging, torch wielding, hate-filled supremacists. Some of us unwittingly uphold racism’s tropes and prejudices because we’re influenced by subconscious racial stereotypes and implicit bias. Becoming aware of this is a complex undertaking, especially as it requires us to perceive something in ourselves that we don’t like to admit is there. If we’re willing to carry out the work, there are numerous anti-racism books we can read, and many educators and activists we can learn from. If we’re made aware that our assumptions and actions perpetuate racism; this is exactly the time we need to engage in thoughtful, open and honest listening. It’s all too easy to get defensive and attempt to justify/prove our good intentions, but that impedes our ability to engage in critical conversations. It’s okay to get uncomfortable — in fact, it’s a must if we’re determined to tackle racism in society.
This is by no means a comprehensive list of hard truths about life (feel free to add a few more in the comments below); but they are the ones that I frequently come up against myself or see many others grappling with. Instead of being apprehensive about the lessons they teach us; facing uncomfortable realisations is all part of our personal inner work. Accepting hard truths can encourage us to live more authentically and intentionally; we may as well support ourselves as we journey through life.
What hard truths have you learned in life? What advice would you give about dealing with them?
Further Info:
11 Anti-Racist Accounts That Are Worth Following – Variety
NAMI Helpline – a free, nationwide U.S. resource that offers experienced peer-support guidance and advice
CheckPoint – global (by country) resources for mental health support
transatlantic | notes 
I love this post, and all of these are so, so true. Thanks for sharing!
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Thank you so much for stopping by!
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Very thought-provoking. Lots of important points.
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Thank you!
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This was a good reminder of all the ugly truths we usually more or less choose to ignore and act as if though they don’t stand. As you pointed out just ignoring something does not make it go away. Some bad aspects of our personality it is also ok to take a step back and understand them. Sometimes we tend to fool ourselves. E.g. self confidence is a good thing but when it turns to too much ego and ignoring of other people’s needs and feelings it turns to a flaw.
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I’m glad to be sharing the realities we all need to spend time looking into and dealing with. I agree that we tend to fool ourselves; but that will only work for so long. Eventually we know we have to do the work so we may as well take a look at these hard truths now. Thanks so much for reading!
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i love the last point so much, and by not acknowledging it, the situation gets so much worse! It is nice to openly discuss racism and the impact it has – great post!
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I think so many of us are uncomfortable about facing the realities of the biases we hold onto; but that isn’t a bad thing because we can definitely see what we need to work on. Thanks so much for commenting!
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This is such a realistic and true post! Sometimes life is hard and it deals us some bad cards and we have to overcome that to ride this roller-coaster of a life. Thank you x
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Exactly! Life is truly a mix of good, bad, ugly and awesome! We may as well face some harder truths so we don’t get held back by them if/when we experience them. Thanks for reading!
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Wow, this is all very true.
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Thank you!
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There are lots of really interesting points here. I think the hardest one for me is that we’re not always good. I defo can be toxic at times and have to work on recognising that and putting a stop to it!
Corinne x
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It was a difficult truth for me to accept too; but as soon as I did it became much easier to catch it and disrupt its influence. Thanks so much for reading!
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This post is #truth. Life can be wonderful, but it can also be really crappy. These are some hard truths that we all have to face at some point
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100%! I think some people always assume that life is supposed to be positive and awesome all the time; which makes dealing with the harder stuff that much more difficult. Thanks for reading!
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Beautifully said Molly. Life isn’t about hoping nothing bad happens or that things go smoothly all the time, it’s about problem solving and equipping ourselves with the proper tools to handle tough situations. Self-care and affirmations are wonderful ways to remind yourself that you’re loved and you’re doing the best you can. We’re all human and we’re going to make mistakes. I recently pulled an affirmation card that reminds you to put a hand over your heart and say “how human of me” instead of putting yourself down for making mistakes. The wonderful thing about life is that we’re always growing and there’s always room for change. Thank you for this post! 🙂
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I absolutely love that affirmation! Thank you so much for sharing that; I’m going to start using that as I love how it’s both soothing but also focus on what we can do to make things better. It’s healing and hopeful all in one!
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Really great post, some really thought provoking points in here. I love the balance of no judgment but also advice on how we can deal with/improve things.
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Thank you — I really wanted to share these hard truths without judgement because we all will experience/have to deal with them and wanted to offer some way through them. I am so glad that cam across; I really appreciate you reading!
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A great post! You have outlined some interesting points — I like the point where it’s said that embracing life at the very present moment. We tend to forget this sometimes, we work towards the goals and forget to live the moments in the present.
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I sometimes find I definitely fall into the trap of “I’ll start enjoying life when …” and all it means is I am not living life in a good way. So many people seem to experience the same too; I figured including it may be a good reminder to whoever reads this that all the joys of life are happening right now. Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment!
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Interesting read. I appreciate that you added the last one about us all being racist. I think people make the mistake of assuming racist means hatred which makes it hard for some people to admit to being racist. It’s important to acknowledge the difference. That’s not to say that it’s okay to hold on to stereotypes and racist beliefs; you should still try to be as evenhanded as possible in how you view everyone regardless of background or color, but it’s literally impossible to eliminate some of our biases. It’s when racism is elevated to hatred and purposeful denial of human rights that things, obviously, become an issue.
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100% — this is why racism is such a hard truth to get to grips with. Once we do though, it’s easier to see how this permeates our own thoughts and behaviours as well as the policies and systems that very quietly uphold racial discrimination, etc. Once we see it, we’re more able to join the fight to dismantle it within our own lives and within society Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!
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This post is so important. I truly believe that sometimes, we just have to accept things as it is and move on because no matter what happens, life goes on. Thank you for sharing this thoughtful content!
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So true — we have to learn, accept, adapt (if required) and know that hard truths will always be a part of our lives. They should not stop us from living but they should definitely be part of how we move forward. Thanks for reading!
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Wow, awesome post. These are valid points and truths that we have to face. Life is always rainbows and sunshine no matter how much we would like that. No matter how good you are, there are obstacles to overcome. Great points. Thanks for sharing.
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Exactly — I think it’s easy to get caught up into believing that life has to always be happy and things are always going to good. We have to face some hard truths and be able to deal with them.
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True, life isn’t always going to be an easy happy ride.
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100% — we need to prepare ourselves and make sure we have the tools to see us through those tougher times.
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This is such an awesome and relatable post. Bad things are going to happen no matter what and it is important to know how to effectively deal with them when they happen. Thanks so much for sharing!
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Thank you — I had hoped it would be relatable as you’re 100% right that no matter what, things will not always go well in life. We need to know we can get through it all, we can plan ahead for those moments.
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All these are hard ones and I think what makes them hard is that most of them are hard to accept while you still young.
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I agree — they can be difficult when younger (and even older too). Whenever we come to face them it can be difficult to I hope this post at least helps. Thanks for reading!
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It’s certainly true that I’ve not always been a good person, especially with the poor choices I made to cope with my childhood trauma. But I strive to be a good person in everything I do nowadays
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This is huge progress; being able to recognize and be open with yourself about it means you can definitely strive (and achieve) what you’re working towards. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
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This is such an impactful post. You’ve provided great information and I particularly enjoyed your point about racism (so true!). Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you! It can be hard to hear these truths sometimes but it’s worth it for personal growth.
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Molly this is an inspirational post. Your blog is a reminder that life is like a wave and we just have to learn to ride the ups and downs. One thing I have learned in life is not everyone is going to like you.
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Thank you! I think sometimes we’re reluctant to discuss the harder truths of life; we all experience them so it’s refreshing to be open about it all.
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